why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I think a kid would responsible me up
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
