Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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