Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
