Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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