i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize