I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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