I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
