his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
