i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i think i have herpe
just one?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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