1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
