I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
