hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Randomize
