Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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