I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
