HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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