ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
