so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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