at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Randomize
