Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize