it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
