at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
