about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize