So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
