Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
