I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
