imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
