I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
