Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
