oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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