You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
