I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
