Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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