just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
