he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
