im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
and you said cock pushups were impossible
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
