Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
