Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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