Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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