Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
