TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
