I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Randomize