He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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