Walk of Shame. In a state park.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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