the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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