please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
