is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
