whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize