Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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