I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
