we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
