I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
