i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
