He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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