i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize