she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
