i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
