Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It's never too late to be topless.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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