You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
