how can u be prego again
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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