Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
