I wish I could punch you in the face.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
