he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
