dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
So squirting runs in the family.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
