i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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