Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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