I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize