Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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