So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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