The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
