I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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