would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
