She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
